I hope mine doesn't look like that
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
