my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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