if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
