I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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