Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
