I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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