totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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