My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
