and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i already hear my dad disowning me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
