Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Congratulations! We have a period
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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