he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
