Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
