CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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