the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize