life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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