U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
