Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
