She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize