Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
