ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
