if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
