Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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