i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
i came on her dog
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
