So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize