Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
