I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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