shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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