There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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