He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
