True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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