If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize