He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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