We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
