the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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