it was like his penis was on wheels.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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