I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
