Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize