she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize