Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
