Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize