HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
