i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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