I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
