she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
