Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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