normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
