Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
