Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you traded sex for a burrito?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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