Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize