I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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