that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
