Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
