ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
