I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it was like eating out sand paper
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
