Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It's never too late to be topless.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
