There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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