I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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