can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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