She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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