it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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