I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
