Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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