I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
