Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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