Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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