Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
