is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
