I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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