You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Hippo gnu deer
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
