She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
