i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize