google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Randomize
