Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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