i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
